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Nash Penrod

September 1, 2017

Boy howdy It has been quiet the day! So I went to Bachelor's Grove to take some shots for my photography class, right? I thought, hey it's usually vacant and it's an awesome place to get great photos! And, on a usual day it is.... but today was not that day. I walk in, round the corner and peer into the usually deserted cemetery, only this time it wasn't deserted, on the far left are what appears to be two teenagers being all touchy feely. Ugh, fine. Maybe when they see me walking around the perimeter, TAKING PICTURES, with my big obvious camera, they'll let up and leave. WRONG.

I go down by the creek and spend about 15 minutes taking shots there and around there, then I head back up thinking, "They've got to be gone by now, right?" WRONG AGAIN!

I peer over and to my horror realize that the woman now has her shorts pulled down over her ass. "Satan why?" I thought to myself as I walked back around, making loads of noise in the hope that they would be dissuaded from continuing their 'teenage' love fest.

I walk back up the incoming path and take a few more shots, but when I come back around the woman's pants have now come completely off and the man is all hands on deck... er, booty?

"Oh what the fuck?" I grumbled lowly as I then pulled out my cell phone, this has gone on long enough, nope I'm not letting you full monty in the fucking cemetary, hell no.

So it took me about 5-8 minutes to find the number to the right police department. I called up county and told the dispatcher what was going down. She sent someone out and I stayed back by the creek waiting. But just as I put my phone away I notice that they are now up and walking out of the cemetary. "God damn it, I should have called sooner!" I thought, "Now they're gonna get away."

But they didn't leave, oh no. They move to the entrance of the path that I was on and just stood there alternating between watching me and making out like one of them just got out of prison. I figured fine, let them stare, if it keeps them here until the cop comes, good.

But after about another 10 minutes, I decided there was only so much I could pretend to be interested in taking pictures of, and I start up the path towards them. I'll just wait for the officer to get here up by the street. So as I'm walking past them, my stomach lurches as I realize that these are not teenagers. I repeat these dirty fucks are NOT love hungry TEENAGERS. The man looks to be about late 20's early 30's, but the woman, who's ass and other bits I had bared witness too appeared to be AT LEAST late 50's early 60's.

"Hey!" she says as I pass her and him, still locked in each others arms. *Gag*

"Hey." I said deadpan.

"Did you get some good pictures?" she asks ludely as she smiles at me.

I try not to shudder as I nod and say, "Yep." pushing past them and hurridly stomping towards the exit.

To my relief as I am half way up the path I see the officer approaching. THANK THE GODS.

I point him to the couple and say they are up and getting ready to leave. He nodded and headed off to them.

By the time I crossed the street, lit a smoke and drove off, neither party had emerged from the cemetery. I hope they were at least fined, but I really wished I had called sooner so that she would have (literally) been caught with her pants down.

And that's my story, what a day!